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Your definition of recovery can change as you move through the process. Mine definitely has. I said recently to someone that I think my initial definition of ‘recovered’ was quite ‘anorexic’ in that I thought I’d eat differently (more food, more variety, higher calorie foods) until I reached a healthy weight range and then go back […]

There has been growing debate about the usefulness of mental health professionals sharing their own lived experience of psychological distress. As a social worker with my own mental health label, this naturally interests me. I have written about the difficulty of being on ‘both sides of the desk‘, and the tension between my professional role, […]

So. It’s been a few weeks now since having more intensive support with eating. Overall things have been fairly steady. Ok, but not where I’d like them to be. I still need to restore more weight. I need to embed the changes I made in day service more into my daily life, and not let them […]

Someone asked me recently whether I would ever consider not calling my eating disorder a ‘disorder’, given that I also describe it as a way of surviving in the midst of difficult circumstances. The suggestion was, I think, that if a particular strategy develops as a means of coping, then at one time, it was useful, and needs to be recognised as a sign of resourcefulness – and a resource. What we call ‘anorexia’, even at it’s worst, did to some degree allow me to cope emotionally, I was able to study, to work – even if I wasn’t able to do much else. I was consumed by numbers and emotionally numbed, and at one time, that helped. Perhaps it was even necessary. Eating disorders often develop in a context of difficult feelings. There is always a story behind ‘I’m fat’.

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‘I feel fat’. It’s something most (not all) people with an eating disorder diagnosis can relate to, and often it can be a real barrier to making progress in recovery. If you feel ‘fat’, how can you possibly allow yourself more food, more rest, or to consider the possibility that weight gain might actually be a good thing? Continue reading

To begin with, a caveat. I’m obviously not saying that spending most of your formative years in an environment dominated by alcohol (or any other form of out of control behaviour/violence/aggression) is ideal.  Not even close. The impact of addiction within families is often  under recognised or dismissed and it is something I’d want to protect any child from at all costs. However, I do […]

The post below is from Liz. She describes her experience of a longstanding eating disorder and offers some helpful, compassionate suggestions for navigating the process of untangling oneself.

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This post was submitted anonymously. The writer sensitively describes how she understands her difficulties with eating in the context of a wider psychological formulation.

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This post was contributed anonymously. The writer describes how her GP went beyond the call of duty to support her recovery from an eating disorder during her time at University.

“For weeks, I’d been considering approaching a GP about my ‘eating problems’, but kept delaying it as I didn’t feel ‘sick enough’. I didn’t know any of the GPs at my local practice either. However, I went along one morning and upon enquiring about appointments, was offered a same-day appointment with a GP. I accepted it with mixed feelings. I remember walking into his office later that afternoon and promptly bursting into tears. This GP was very astute and immediately sensed that something wasn’t right. He took me seriously, listened to what I had to say, and was adamant that I was not wasting his time despite my protestations otherwise. He was very ‘switched-on’ to the dangers of anorexia and took great pains to emphasise these. When I came back to see him after two weeks with no improvement, he referred me to secondary services. Continue reading