I haven’t written anything here in a good while. Partly, I didn’t have anything to say, but also, the things I did want to say, don’t belong on a blog of this nature, an anonymous yet public place. It is also not anonymous to some of the people in my actual life. However things have shifted […]
This is a guest post submitted anonymously. The writer describes how her GP has been a key figure in supporting her as she battles an eating disorder: My GP has saved my life. Countless times. She has been there for me for almost two years now. Before her I had a mixed bag of GPs […]
Your definition of recovery can change as you move through the process. Mine definitely has. I said recently to someone that I think my initial definition of ‘recovered’ was quite ‘anorexic’ in that I thought I’d eat differently (more food, more variety, higher calorie foods) until I reached a healthy weight range and then go back […]
There has been growing debate about the usefulness of mental health professionals sharing their own lived experience of psychological distress. As a social worker with my own mental health label, this naturally interests me. I have written about the difficulty of being on ‘both sides of the desk‘, and the tension between my professional role, […]
Relationships. They have the power to make us and, in spite of our best intentions, break us down. One of my oldest, loveliest friends sent me a link to a song a while ago, and the words, the sentiment, and the timing really struck a chord. It wasn’t really the song, but because of the sense […]
So. It’s been a few weeks now since having more intensive support with eating. Overall things have been fairly steady. Ok, but not where I’d like them to be. I still need to restore more weight. I need to embed the changes I made in day service more into my daily life, and not let them […]
Someone asked me recently whether I would ever consider not calling my eating disorder a ‘disorder’, given that I also describe it as a way of surviving in the midst of difficult circumstances. The suggestion was, I think, that if a particular strategy develops as a means of coping, then at one time, it was useful, and needs to be recognised as a sign of resourcefulness – and a resource. What we call ‘anorexia’, even at it’s worst, did to some degree allow me to cope emotionally, I was able to study, to work – even if I wasn’t able to do much else. I was consumed by numbers and emotionally numbed, and at one time, that helped. Perhaps it was even necessary. Eating disorders often develop in a context of difficult feelings. There is always a story behind ‘I’m fat’.
‘I feel fat’. It’s something most (not all) people with an eating disorder diagnosis can relate to, and often it can be a real barrier to making progress in recovery. If you feel ‘fat’, how can you possibly allow yourself more food, more rest, or to consider the possibility that weight gain might actually be a good thing? Continue reading
To begin with, a caveat. I’m obviously not saying that spending most of your formative years in an environment dominated by alcohol (or any other form of out of control behaviour/violence/aggression) is ideal. Not even close. The impact of addiction within families is often under recognised or dismissed and it is something I’d want to protect any child from at all costs. However, I do […]
The post below is from Liz. She describes her experience of a longstanding eating disorder and offers some helpful, compassionate suggestions for navigating the process of untangling oneself.